The Devil Wears Topshop

Real Size

For many years now I've been obsessed with fashion, to say the least. It has had such a massive influence over my opinions, my potential career and my life as a whole. Not all of these influences have been positive, I'll admit, but nonetheless it has shaped my personality a great deal. However, I'm not in love with every aspect of the industry. I've always had an issue, as does half the world, with the size of fashion models. I'm not going to lie, I think they look great in fashion shows. The clothes always look incredible and they are, undeniably, astonishing looking women. But I'm never that comfortable looking at them. Maybe it's an insecurity they instill within me, I dunno, but I always feel a little awkward looking at people that thin. I always imagine them outside of the fashion shows and more often than not they just look frail and ill. In the real world I feel like I'm being rude by staring, in the fashion world I'm supposed to be in awe? Is this industry really that imaginary? Like don't get me wrong, half of me would kill the uncomfortable half to look like Natasha Poly but in the real world, would that still be attractive? Then on the flip side, there are plus-size models. Again, they look amazing and I'd nearly gain weight to look like Crystal Renn but I still just feel like these women are living in the same fantasy world as the size zero models. Models are models for a reason, big or small they're going to be astounding looking. If they didn't have such beautiful faces they'd just be another "fat bird". It's harsh but it's true. Everyday Nastasha Polys are shockingly thin girls that make people gasp on trains, and everyday Crystal Renns are girls described as "Beautiful face, shame about the body" by ignorant men, so most men really. Yet the issue I have is, where are the models who are in the middle measurements? Does it have to be size zero or size 16? Why can't a size 10 model front a Dior campaign? Because they're real size, are they considered less beautiful? There have been a few models in recent years to break into this neglected area of fashion but not to a revolutionary extent. Girls like Lara Stone or Doutzen Kroes have broken the mold a little but lets face it, they're still on the size 6 (UK) end of the spectrum. If Jessica Stam gained a stone would fashion turn its back on her or still celebrate her attitude and beauty? All regular size models need is a kind word and an endorsement from someone like John Galliano and it could happen but it just doesn't seem like an idea the fashion industry will ever accept. Even as a fashion blogger I'm not supposed to admit I eat, but it's 2am and I'm hungry dammit so I'm going to Hot Chilli on Kevin St whether you like it or not Anna Wintour, I'm not naive, I know you're not going to put me on the cover of Vogue anytime soon. Unless I ask really really nicely... no? Fine, I didn't want it anyway.

If you're a Natasha, try The Farm on Dawson St, organic mush with a side of nothing should keep you good and skeletal. It is actually a really nice restaurant, I'm just bitter cause I can't afford to eat there unless I choose it to be my only meal for the week... In which case, even better to achieve that barely there look. (All jokes aside, I don't approve of that and The Farm is really nice.)

If you're a Crystal, Tribeca in Ranelagh is the place to be. They have the most amazing dessert menu on the planet. I'm so hungry right now it doesn't bare thinking about but if I could afford to eat there every night maybe I'd be a plus-size model too. It's pretty pricey but so worth it.

If you're fortunate enough to be a Doutzen, I'd recommend Yamamori Sushi on Lower Ormond Quay. It's healthy, it's delicious, it's trendy and reasonable, provided you know what you're ordering. Yes, sushi has become a bit of a cliche in recent years but it can't be denied it's proper good food. And, in my opinion, Yamamori Sushi is easily the best in the city.

Soundtrack:

Jarvis Cocker- Fat Julie (Perhaps the title's a little tasteless but if you listen to the song it's quite empowering)

Elbow- The Bones of You (See above comment)

David Bowie- Queen Bitch (What everyone will think of me now)

Whelans & Spy

"And as the microphone squeaks, a young girls telephone beeps, she's dashing for the exit, she's running to the streets outside. "Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line. "The band were fucking wank and I'm not having a nice time." Fake Tales of San Fransisco, Arctic Monkeys.

A topical list of things I don't like: sweat, glo-sticks, bad music, small town DJs, people, drunk people, drunk people in close quarters, ruined shoes, cigarette burns, over-priced booze, "ker-azy" students, watching people snort cocaine off toilet seats (do they know how filthy they are?!), paying money to be bored and irritated. For these reasons and more, I hate nightclubs. (I hate to rip off Charlie Brooker here but I genuinely hate them. So much hate for one paragraph...) They're loud, obnoxious, glowing caves where people go to pretend to have fun and prey on the opposite sex. But being 20 and having friends I am forced to participate once in a while. I do so unwillingly and completely on my terms. And if forced to pay €10 into one of the nine circles of hell you will usually find me in one of 3 in Dublin.

Probably one of the only places I can stand to be in and have a decent time is Whelans on Wexford St. I've been sneaking in there since I was 16 years old and been going back at least once a month ever since, and for the life of me I don't know why. The music is typical indie rock, the people look like they're waiting for an NME spokesperson to come along and snap them up for the next cover, the decor is nothing to be admired and the last time a good band played there... well I dunno if it's ever happened. Yet, there is something about the place that I like. Apart from the people, the venue itself is without pretention, it is what it is. There's graffiti everywhere and no one seems to care, it's not even clever graffiti that you'd leave up to be ironic and yet no one cares. The smoking area is uncomfortable yet I'd gladly spend a whole night there cause it's the only place you can talk to people but I'd do so without complaint cause it's not half bad. I don't understand it myself just why I like Whelans but I just know that I've rarely had a bad night there. Maybe it's because I met my boyfriend there and many of my friends but it's never led me astray. Do try it, I need to know it's genuinely good and I'm not going insane.

Me in Whelans... one of the NME twats I was talking about by the looks of it..

Secondly, there's Spy. Again, not really sure why I like Spy. There's good music, yes, but painfully boring people. It's the kind of place you go to when, and only when, you're going out with a bunch of people you really really like. In which case, it's probably the best club to go to if you like handing out sarcastic remarks and passive abusive comments. It's in a really good location too, South William St, which means you're but a stones throw away from McDonalds on Grafton st.

A view from Spy-Disturbingly like Vampire Weekend's first album cover, should give you an idea of the clientelle.

Kate in Spy. If people as pretty as her go there it must be worth it right?

Lastly, you may find me at home. Doing nothing. Perhaps ordering pizza and having a glass of wine with my roomate. Why? Because I really really hate clubs.

Soundtrack-
Hockey- Too Fake
Arctic Monkeys- Fake Tales of San Fransisco
Vampire Weekend- The Kids Don't Stand a Chance
Pulp- Common People

Top 5 Shops in Dublin

I went on an expedition yesterday to find the best clothes shops unique to this fair city. I tried to encompass all tastes and quickly realised that "all tastes" really just meant "no taste". So instead I chose my favourite shops, a little self-centred of me, yes, but lets call a spade a spade shall we?Obviously, I've steered clear of the high street because, while there are beautiful clothes, there is nothing unique there. So I found myself looking mostly at vintage stores and side street boutiques. In keeping with the wearable/affordable theme of the blog I chose the best and cheapest shops I could find. So enjoy! (Apologies for the shoddy photos, I'm useless with a camera)

1. V for Vintage, Crown Alley, Temple Bar

V for Vintage is a charming little shop situated in the middle of the painfully "hip" and horrendously touristy Temple Bar. The area has the same vibe of Camden Town or Shorditch, a place that you can see was once the height of cool but then the scensters got their mits all over it and turned it into a cliche with a postcode. But nonetheless, it has it's moments and V for Vintage is one of them. While not strictly vintage clothing, as it specialises in 80s and 90s, there are many little gems to be found in this relatively new store. They have a great selection of cut-up Levi shorts at only €18 a pop, I bought two despite the summer thundering to a halt because items like that are timeless really. Also their collection of bags and shoes are quite impressive for the price you pay (€10-€40) which is practically nothing. So if you're looking for cheap accessories and trademark "indie" pieces this should be the first stop on the journey. Plus it's right around the corner from Urban Outfitters so all the hipsters will feel right at home

2. Carousel, Exchequer St (Just off Sth Great Georges St)

Carousel (formerlly Sabotage) is a gorgeous little boutique a stones throw away from prime shopping street Grafton St. It's bursting with beautiful dresses with odd little twists to them and has an amazing selection of coloured jeans that are of a Fair Trade standard. The prices on some of the collections are a bit pricey but overall it's a pretty cheap little store. I bought a delightful little floral dress there a few months ago that I've worn on a bi-weekly basis since and not once have I seen anyone with the same dress. That's one of the things I really really like about this shop, they don't buy in bulk so whatever you buy you can be guarenteed that hardly anyone will own it too.

3. Halo, Exchequer St

Halo is the sister store of Carousel as far as I am aware, and if it were a family Halo would be the sophisticated older sister with expensive taste. It's probably got the highest price tags in my list but for what you get it's worth it, as it stands I've only been able to afford a belt in there but one day I'll move up in the world and buy a hat.

4. Harlequin, opposite Georges St Arcade

The Harlequin is a unbelievable vintage store near Georges St Arcade. It's a bit pricier than V for Vintage but nowhere near as expensive as Jenny Vander, the 1920s vintage specialist around the corner from it. So it's found the middle ground in vintage prices and for what you get it's very reasonable. Again, the accessories in here are it's triumph. It's situated in between fabric store Murphy Sheeny & Co and bead store The Crown Jewels so if customisation is your deal then this little trio of shops should be your haunt.

5. Retro, Georges St Arcade, Sth Great Georges St.

Retro is the only shop in the list for the slightly edgier tastes. It's one of many fabulous little boutiques in Georges St Arcade that specialises in vintage and contemporary clothing. It's primary shoppers are usually gothic with a rockabilly edge. It's not a style for the feint of heart but if you have the confidence to pull it off then work it in one of their 50s inspired gowns with a gothic edge.

Soundtrack:

The Beatles- Daytripper

Animal Collective- Unsolved Mysteries

The Good, The Bad & The Queen- 80s Life

Jarvis Cocker- I Never Said I Was Deep

That's me, that is.

Chunky Knits

Dress- River Island (Sale at €12)

Trench- Old...

Bag- Topshop

Tights and knee high socks both Pennys

Loafers- Pennys (Last year but they'll be back)

Well here we are again. The evenings are getting longer, the sun has stopped coming out to play, bikinis are being sold at half price and festivals have all dried up. No, the Ibiza closing parties haven't happened so that means it's still summer, right? RIGHT?! Alas, no... No ammount of ketamine can make the summer last longer. But worry not! Stella McCartney has come to our rescue in the chic-est way possible! I was never a massive fan of ol' Stella but I was always nice about her for her father's sake. (In case one day I might meet him I don't want him to dislike me cause I slagged off his daughter. He's a Beatle for god's sake, have some respect!) But this season she's won me over without having to play 'I'm Only Sleeping' as the show soundtrack. Well done Stella. Instead she created the most simple, cleanest, smart casual show of Paris fashion week. Clean cut trousers and wool dresses, striped shifts and chunky knit cardigans, it was polished daywear at it's best. Of course, unless you're curator of the Tate, this sort of sophistication doesn't translate well to real life so what I've done is combined elements of this show and squeezed it into one wearable outfit for the Autumn. Teamed with the classic trench, an Autumn essential for any year, and a trendy little satchel that that Alexa Chung one wears till they die, the basic trends of Stella's show is squished together in a wearable and stylish way. Oh and see the loafers? Get a pair, if they're good enough for Chole, they're good enough for us.

Soundtrack:

Example- Watch the Sun Come Up

The Beatles- For No One

Friendly Fires- Paris

The National- Terrible Love

Stella McCartney Fall/Winter 2010/11- See what I did there?

The Maxi

It's time to pay hommage to the most beloved of trends from Spring/Summer: the maxi. I think it's a befitting time to look back at it's finer moments in the past season as we enter Fall/Winter and succumb to it's older sister: the long skirt. The maxi re-entered the catwalks last year after a long hiatis during the mid noughties when thigh skimming creations were considered the ultimate in WAG chic, not to those with taste mind but the general populace is of a Heat reading mind. The gypsy skirt became somewhat of a trend in 2005 but it was short lived as Sienna Miller's boho look grew almost as thin as her legs. Then it made a hint of a come back in 2006 from designers like Roberto Cavalli if I'm not mistaken but it wasn't a look embraced by the hoi polloi. So the maxi had no where to go, no friend to turn to, it was in fashion limbo with bomber jackets and bell bottom jeans. Until 2009 when it nudged it's way back into the arms of the fashion world and longer hem lines were once again celebrated. However, it didn't quite set the world on fire despite being sported by pioneers of the maxi (Nicole Richie) 24 hours a day 7 days a week, that's not even an exageration. Until it covered every inch of the runways this year and the world jumped on the band wagon. About time! Suddenly everyone but the cat's mother was wearing a maxi; old, young, short, tall, male, female... ok maybe not male but I made my point. I'm not going to lie though, after a while all the cheap high street imitations really pissed me off, it became increasingly harder to find one with that class and effortlessness the maxi is all about. Then I walked into H&M on Oxford St and there it was, all turquoise and simple, one that actually was long enough for my frame. I felt like singing. I had fufilled my maxi dream. But now the season's changing and I can't wear it anymore... I'm distraught, it's like giving up a baby. No, honestly it is! Yet I needn't worry because long hem lines are staying till next season so I'll get my maxi fix. It may be darker, more serious, and probably harder to pull off but Michael Kors proved that it can be done, and my god he does it well.

Soundtrack:

Little Richard-Long Tall Sally

The Hollies- Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress